AlanAbar.com

Many people in society define “Success” as a well-paid career, a big home, named brand clothing, and a luxury car. Obviously not every does, but many do - and this perception can influence or impact how we live our lives.

I just read how Ralph Waldo Emerson defines success:

To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
To earn the approval of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one’s self without the slightest thought of return;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a rescued soul, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiam and sung with exaltation;
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

All aspects of Emerson’s definition of success are attainable away from the workplace, and does not focus on material items as a source of happiness / success.

One: Internet Ritual

I have to do a lot of work on the web. Reading blogs, answering e-mails and responding to messages can be incredibly time consuming if you let it be. Creating an internet ritual as your baseline can cut two thirds off the time you use. Better yet it discourages wasteful internet usage as you optimize how you surf.

If you want ideas for how to form an internet ritual, read this article. Basically, you can get started by prioritizing the major sites you need to visit in your browsers toolbar. Then commit for thirty days to check those sites only once or twice a day at specific times.

Two: Exercise

Exercise has been a near daily habit for myself for well over a year. Although it may appear time consuming, regular exercise gives enough energy to make up for the time it takes. Finding an exercise you love to do will keep you healthy, fit and mentally sharp throughout the day.

The few times I’ve been forced to stop exercising for several days, I can begin to notice the difference. My energy levels drop dramatically and I feel slow and groggy. Sure you can work hard if you aren’t staying fit. But just because you can, doesn’t mean it is best.

Three: Wake Early

Early rising has been an on-off habit for myself. After conditioning it about two years ago for the first time, it doesn’t take much energy to resume. The deciding factor of whether to go early bird or night owl depends on when you can accomplish more. If there are a lot of activities happening later you don’t want to miss, catching a few morning z’s can help.

But generally, if you are working on your own schedule, waking up early can kickstart your day. You can have more quiet time to get work accomplished in the morning. Plus starting your day early gives you momentum to carry forward into your day.

Four: Reading

You could measure this in pages or minutes per day. Saving a few minutes a day to read books will add up. Just twenty to thirty minutes a day for myself leads to over seventy books a year. You can quickly become an expert in a subject if you begin reading that much.

Most University classes I’ve seen cover about 1-3 books worth of information. Reading 70 books a year can end up being the equivalent of 20-30 courses worth of information. If you want some tips to start the reading habit, read this article.

Five: Organization

I’m a fan of minimalist GTD. For myself that means a notepad in my pocket, a to-do list on my desk and a calendar on my desktop. Forming the habit to maintain these systems of organization has removed much of the stress in trying to hold them in your memory.

Beyond just your tasks, forming organization habits for the major parts of your life greatly reduces stress. If you haven’t already read Getting Things Done by David Allen, I suggest you pick up a copy.

Six: Vegetarianism

I started a vegetarian diet about 18 months ago and the change was dramatic. Like adding exercise, cutting away meat products allowed me healthier substitutions. Almost immediately I felt like I had more energy and mental clarity.

Not eating meat is just one of many changes that makes my diet work. If you simply replace meat with junk food, you are worse off than when you started. I’ve also heard from others that being a “flexetarian” or someone who eats meat only occasionally has similar benefits.

You could argue how you can’t give up meat or why it is better for you not to. I’m not here to debate you. All I suggest is that you read some of the scientific evidence that supports the diet and try it for yourself. Go for thirty days and then decide. If you aren’t convinced, you’ve only wasted a month.

Seven: Daily Six

I use a modified version of this approach. What is the daily six? I think it is best summarized by this story I’ve mentioned before:

A young man walked into the office of a powerful executive of a steel company in the early 20th century. He told the executive he could triple his productivity. All he asked was that the executive would later pay him what he felt the idea was worth. The idea was this:

Each day you write the numbers one to six on a piece of paper. Then write out the first, second and up to the sixth most important tasks of the day. You then begin on number one. Even if you spend the entire day on that one task, there was no way you could have been more productive using any other system.

A month after his speech the young man received a check from the executive. It was worth ten thousand dollars.

Eight: Television

There are a couple ways you can handle television which are usually better than just watching whenever you feel like it:

1. Complete Blackout. Turn the television off for good. Want more time, cut it out for good. It is amazing how much time you can save simply by turning off the tube permanently.
2. Prerecorded. This is the solution I’m using now. I tape any shows I want to watch in advance. Not only does this eliminate commercial time, it prevents a lot of wasted time channel surfing.
3. No Home Television. Another solution I’ve used is simply to not have a home television (or have no cable if you still want to watch movies). You can watch shows you really want to see at a friends house, but otherwise you won’t let television occupy your time.

Remember, the point of habits isn’t to become a robot. Your habits should make your life more entertaining, not less.

Nine: Journal

I’m not interested in keeping a diary of every event that happens to me. But a good idea is to set up a journal as your problem solving platform. Any problem, plan or thought you encounter can be expressed and deconstructed if you maintain a journal.

I don’t expect you have time to write for an hour each night. That’s isn’t the point. But starting the habit of keeping a semi-regular journal has greatly improved my thinking. My habit is to go to my journal whenever I have time or a difficult problem and simply write through it.

Pick One for Thirty Days

If any of these habits interest you, I suggest you pick one and try it for thirty days. Simply taking control of one of these habits can have a huge impact on the amount of time, energy or enjoyment you can get out of life. If you have any suggestions to add to this list, feel free to write them down in the comments.

Taken from http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/23/nine-habits-to-change-your-life/

This is an excerpt I just read from The Daily Drucker, by Peter Drucker.

When i was thirteen I had an inspiring teacher of religion who on eday went right through the class of boys asking each one, “What do you want to be remembered for?” None of us, of course, could give an answer. So, he chuckled and said, “I didn’t expect you to be able to answer it. But if you still can’t answer it by the time you’re fifty, you will have wasted your life.”

I’m always asking that question: “What do you want to be remembered for?” It is a question that induces you to renew yourself, because it pushes you to see yourself as a different person - the person you can become. If you are fortunate, someone with moral authority will ask you that question early enough in your life so that you wuill continue to ask it as you go through life. It is a question that induces you to renew yourself, because it pushes you to see yourself as a different person - the person you can become.

ACTION POINT: What do you want to be remembered for?

I just finished this great book called The Power of Less by Leo Babauta.  He is the auther of the popular blog, zenhabits where he shares his lessons on simplifying your life.  This book is basically talks about two fundamentals to help you reach your goals:

1) Identify the Essential

2) Eliminate the Unnecessary

This basically means to focus on what is essential in your life, what are your goals that you want to achieve!  Then to focus on the tasks that will have an impact and help you reach your goals.   Everything else should be consiered unnecessary if it doesn’t help you move in the forward direction.

After reading this book, it got me to refocus on what my top goals in life are.  I hope to use some of the detailed steps / exercises to help simplify my life and focus my on top goals.

Some of my personal goals include:

> Setup a Photography business / website
> Run a Half / Whole Marathon
> Develop a Software Qualtiy Testing portal

I just finished this great book by Gladwell, authoer of Tipping Point, and Blink.  He gives examples of people he considers “Outliers”, and why or how they reached success.  He challenges common assumptions and offers other reasons for how such folks as Bill Joy, Bill Gates got to where they are today. 

A few lessons I picked up from this, is that success is dependent on timing as well as luck.  Rare opportunities will present themselves, and you must be willing to take advantage of those rare windows.  These Outliers started off as normal folks, but took a window of opportunity and maximized it hourlessly.  They started with a small advantage, which snowballed into a huge advantage.  This term is called “cumulative advantage”, where one small advantage will accumulate into a bigger advantage.  But importantly that it takes dedication and commitment to one’s trade, 10K hours of practice before you can become considered a “genius” or “expert” of what you do.

This book made me think about my own self and path in life, and what opportunities / path I have taken or missed along the way.  And it makes me think about my own daughter, to give her every possible advantage and opportunities for her own success.

Being a parent has changed my outlook on life.  It’s not much about me anymore, as it was before we had her.  Everything I do and think revolves on how it impacts or can help my daughter succeed.  After reading this book, it did bring me back to think about how my own success  /failures, and how focusing on myself can help her on her own journey. 

I do have to focus on myself, my own dreams and goals, and become an “Outlier” in my own right.  My old manager told me that the best gift you can give your child is showing them how to become successful, by being successful yourself.

Quick lessons taken from a chapter in The One Minute Entrepreneur:

• You’ll be the same year after year, except for the people you meet and the books you read
• You can get what you want in life if you help others get what they want
• Lead with your ears
• Success occurs when opportunity and preparation meet
• It’s not who you know that counts; it’s who knows you and what they think of you
• When you feel moments impacting your destiny, seize the opportunity

I read something interesting, that at any given time we are becoming the average of five people with whom we are most closely associated.  Don’t ever underestimate the importance of whom you choose to be with.  When you have the opportunity to learn from someone who is exceptionally smart or successful, capture the gems they send your way.

Associate with people you admire and can learn from!

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reaach for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To believe is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free. 

- by Anonymous

To identify the elements of worker engagement, Gallup conducted many thousands of interviews in all kinds of organizations, at all levels, in most industries, and in many countries. These 12 statements - the Gallup Q12 - emerged from Gallup’s pioneering research as those that best predict employee and workgroup performance.

1) I know what is expected of me at work
2) I have the materials and equipment I need to do my job right
3) At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day
4) In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work
5) My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person
6) There is someone at work who encourages my development
7) At work, my opinions seem to count
The mission or purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important
9) My associates or fellow employees are committed to doing quality work
10) I have a best friend at work
11) In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress
12) This last year, I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.

* this is taken directly from the book The 12 Elements of Great Managing

I’ve been reading How To Wow, by Frances Cole Jones, a book about proven strategies for presenting ideas, persuading your audience, and perfecting your image.  She believes that every encounter we face with others, is an opportunity to influence.  Not only your words, but your tone of voice and body language speak volumes.

 The 7-38-55% Rule

7% of our influence comes from the words we say

38% from our tonal quality while saying it

55% by what our body is doing while saying it

You can pick and choose, strengthen or minimize, bump up or play down each element to achieve the results you desire. 

If you say “It’s nice to meet you” to someone you just met, but present a sour face / flimsy handshake / or turn away immediately, what you say doesn’t match your body language…no one will believe you.  You have to say what you mean and mean what you say.